LovelyBlack Desires~: Blog

Letting It Go...It doesn't Belong to You....I will Take it Back

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:23:57 GMT

How do I let you go?

How do I reclaim my heart?

How did all of this start......
What I have is more precious than Gold, Sweeter than Honey and as Pure as Clean Spring Air.... Blowing... After a Spring Shower.

Give it back.....

Give it back....& I will let go....

Give me the Will to do as I must because It doesn't belong to You....

It never belonged to me.....

I will Let it Go....
even if You don't Give it Back....
How shall I hold onto something or someone that was never mine from the start?
You See this Heart? See this Crown....??? See the Luv.....??
OH yeah, it's there.....
You can look at me...It's there....
But..... I am.....
I am TAKING it all back......
It's Mine...it never belonged to you....
You Never belonged to me....
Decades ago it was so.....Now....
our paths barely touched again.... I must go.....
I will take it back....no questions asked.
It's pure, sweet and finer than Gold.....
How long would we think it belonged to us?
Not to us.....
But it's MINE.....
& I am taking it all back.....

Glitter Graphics

Insomnia?

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:15:52 GMT

Back to Work

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:01:29 GMT

Well, it's Sunday night and I have to get ready for work...gotta get up at 4:40 a.m. in the morning. This weekend was pretty quite...nothing exciting happened to me really, but I suppose that's by choice...cause I got a couple invites this weekend, but decided to just stay in and hang out with my kids and do some errands...including cleaning up. Oh! I DID get a chance to see someone I haven't seen in a quite a while for breakfast saturday morning, so that was exciting for me. Other than that, I had a quite weekend. Haven't blogged in a while, but perhaps I'll find more time....it's therapeutic! I surely can't put all my personal happenings in here or else, they'll send my site to another kind of site. nite!

visit enchantedglitters.com

6-10-08-For My Papi...Jose

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:03:50 GMT

Who were we?

I wonder what era it was......

It could have been an era when the dames rode carriages, wore Victorian dresses, and carried lace umbrellas...

When the men wore dark, hand-tailored suits and polished their shoes at the local saloon parlors.....

You came to my front door and asked for my hand to the ball!!..

erhaps it was a time when pirates sailed the sea, brandished swords, conquered other ships...

taking captives, and had their "wench" as they'd say in those days.......

Your wench became your Greatest Love....

Or....WE could have been caterpillars, ugly and furry....squiglling around, getting ready to transform....

into a bright, summer morning....as lovely butterflies...Kissing....

Whatever we were....

Where ever we were....

Whatever era we were in....

It was You. It was I.

Maybe decades have passed.....& we are who we are now.....

Life has handed you a cruel, yet, bitter-sweet set of cards.....

Maybe this is a Visit, a Season, a Reason....

Whatever it is, it feels soo Old, soo familiar......

Like the sound of a bell tolling on a crisp Sunday morning at dawn....the exact, same, precise time...

I think I can remember...Maybe it's your voice that's soo familiar....whatever it is...it strikes a chord ...

From long ago....

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 23:15:48 GMT

Sugar Drop....

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:23:14 GMT

Can't stop thinking, can't stop breathingm can't stop my heart from beating; can't stop sleeping; can't stop my every waking moment....I smell your scent, I can see your face and imagine your lips against mine. My heart won't stop...it beats to an unknown sound that is unfamiliar....I wish you were near...I miss u so very much..

To My Baby....I Could Have Loved You

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:46:46 GMT

If you were here.......
I wish you were here...for me to hold, touch, love....
The distance that spans between us is too great and too far....
But my heart....It beats endlessly to your rythym...
The song to which my spirit dances to in my sleep...
I think I can feel you near me...I feel your spirit ever so present besides me....
I smell you....
Yet you are so far.....
What is the worst torment?
To be near and Love....or
Be far...
and Love? which is greater?
All my life I've searched for one-of-a-kind....
I think I am still searching...for now it is you that my heart beats wildly for...
The beat which my spirit dances to is your sound...even though soo far.
What is better?
a Spirit that is alive with song and love....
or a Spirit..dead with no life and pulse?
I'd rather have it alive.....
If only you weren't so far....

THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:08:59 GMT

What's the true meaning of Love? for me, LOVE IS-
LOVING even when you don't like something about a person....
LOVING even when there are imperfections that cannot be changed...
LOVING....when it's storming and everything and everyone is blown in all directions....but staying steadfast in one place...never moved and unwavering.
LOVING is stability.
LOVING is just listening.
LOVING is appreciation.
LOVING is accepting.
LOVING is gentle .
LOVING is caring.
LOVING is feeling....
LOVING is being intuned...
loving is.....sooo many things....too many to mention....
WHAT IS YOUR MEANING OF LOVE?

How Did I manage?

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 04:35:24 GMT

Well, I guess I have two spaces now...the other one is lovelyblack69....it was an accident, but I will just post to both of them simultaneously...didn't do anything too special today....it was really hot outside..about 100 degrees, so you know what that called for! icecream!!

Hello!!!

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 06:09:03 GMT

Soo Much has changed

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 18:18:58 GMT

Wow...where do i start. I definitely haven't had time to manage my blogs or update my photos, but it will be soon. Myself and the kids have moved to the Valley and it's a huge change, but a good one. Alonzo is doing very well with respect to his Crohn's disease and Maurissa has started a new high school! I really haven't made any new friends there-at least not yet ;-( and I don't know where all the "cool" spots are...but in due time! It's been an adjustment for us, but it's been going quite smoothly. AH! right now, my pc is broke so i'm using someone else's pc to log on, so that's part of the reason i haven't been on ;-( so i'll be purchasing a hard drive soon. Anyways, this blog is boring, yeah i know, but atleast I put SOMETHING! until next time...promise i will post new pics, etc !!!

Haven't Been Here in a While

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 04:40:47 GMT

Well, I've been soo busy lately that I have not had the opportunity to update my page! Within the next day or so, I'll add lots of new pics and all that good stuff!!!

Knott's Berry Farm

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 16:30:47 GMT

went to Knott's with the kids and they had a ball! unfortunately, i didn't get many pics of Maurissa nor myself because Maurissa brought along her school mate and they went on the larger rides, while myself and Alonzo were on the age-appropriate rides for him. Nonetheless, it was a hot, beautiful day. I enjoyed the drive there, which was actually only less than an hour and yummy!!! the funnel cakes are da bomb!!!! In a few weeks, Alonzo's sister, Alexus, will be here from Oregon and we have plenty of time to do other fun things!

The Love of Friends

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:01:49 GMT

From the beginning, when we were kids, we learned to form friendships. We never really knew about loyalty and trustworthiness. As we mature, we learn, through our own experiences, to be a true FRIEND. Some, I might add, never really learn how to recognize their true friends. I've had horrible experiences wherein my loyalty was doubted and my friendship taken for granted...

I believe that being a true friend means honesty and being there for that person no matter what, even if they are going through hard times. I am now 32 and in my years, I have had 2 persons whom i considered friends, turn their backs on me. Don't get me wrong, my life DOES go on, cause' I'm strong-that's a given. But the hurt that accompanies being let down by someone is immense and hurtful. We can all have our relationships and be in love, but our friends are the ones who will listen and go that extra mile, just when u think all of your resources are gone. I guess my nature is fiercely loyal and there are soo many who just can't seem to be that way. What do we do when we no longer have trust? What do we do when we no longer let anyone get inside their world on a personal level? It can be for love relationships or just platonic relationships...What we do is KEEP our heads up and continue to move on, push forward and know that it was an HONOR for them...for persons such as I, to have been friends. Our kind, leaves a touch of glitter

on their hearts....words can't explain the deep anger, or shall i say, unrest...yah that's a better word, that it causes deep inside when you feel you have been judged wrongly, or simply taken advantage of. If any of those two persons ever come upon this blog, you know who u are, and I must say, It's amazing how some people take advantage of certain situations and use it to their own advantage and totally be dis-loyal...but to me, I had nothing to gain..but I had something to lose..and that was a friend. So either way, would it have mattered? had I made a different choice back then, would you turn your back on me anyway? I think so. But who wins? I win. I win, because through it all, I was the truthful one and the one who refused to betray you. Tell me, where, in this lifetime will you find that?

^^^^^^^^^^^^>>>>>>>>>>

Mon, 29 May 2006 07:08:31 GMT

Haven't been here in a While

Thu, 25 May 2006 04:19:16 GMT

Haven't been around for some time...but Im still here! Just basically working, working out, taking care of the kids and ofcoarse having a little fun! Not much going on other than that...and not anything exciting happening in my life...oh well....but i guarantee i'll make my own excitement! heheh! i really wanted to go to the Madonna concert...i just waited until the last minute

Lisa's Farewell

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 04:38:12 GMT

So long to my very good friend Lisa! Lisa is going to Japan for one year for business, but she'll be back!! We partied a few weeks ago and I had a ball!! I WILL MISS YOU LISA!!!!

>>>>>>___*>>>>>^^^^^^^

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 08:03:37 GMT

Boring Saturday Nite

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 07:55:23 GMT

Well, it's one of those saturdays when all your plans fall through...things cancelled cause' of the forecasted rain, which never happened! but anyways sometimes it's good to stay in the house and do absolutely nothing...well, not entirely, but it's still cool

A So So Kinda Day

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:34:14 GMT

BUT atleast it's friday!

Had I known...Written 8/23/2004

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 04:34:44 GMT

Had I this would be Had I known I would feel Had I know I would cry Had I known I would die Had I known I would live again Had I known I would see the Sun Shine... If only that party of You knew how much my sould has wept.... Only to keep my pain so silent and soft... Could you hear it? Can you hear my souls cry? Out and over the ocean it wept The cold wind blowing its howling Sound into the dark deep waters... I have been crushed a million of times... I have even died billions of times Unbelievable how many times I could do this How many times can I feel this way...yet Keep going on. Such anguish inside Who said I wanted it to be so gray Who determined my heart's desires? Haven't you seen me? I know you see my spirit float across the mist. Felt my breath against you ear... Had I known I would suffer in such emotional pain to have the greatest gift of all in my life Would I have died a billions times? Had I known.. Yes

MSN changed something!!

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 18:40:33 GMT

okay everyone...it seems that msn has changed some features on our pages...i've had the hardest time signing in and accessiing my space!! now i'm finally in!! anyone else out there experiencing the same problems??

hump day

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 07:58:58 GMT

Well, it's hump day...two more days to go till the weekend...i soo feel like doing something xtra fun this weekend...i do have a bunch of plans..but i feel like there should be more....hummmm...

Butterflies....U know...that fluttery feeling?

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 05:31:39 GMT

These butterflies....they are everywhere.

I wish i could calm them

instead they are calming me.

calming me into feeling so excited when i see u...

I have to admit.

It feels good. So good that i want it to last forever.

Just like waking up at 1 in the morning...

Only to hear that it's raining outside-

and You....you are besides me.

Where was i again? Oh...yeah....the butterflies....

they are fluttering around like a million particles...

It's raining outside....

butterflies.....please

don't go away.

Just a Another Monday

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 03:39:06 GMT

Just another Monday and back to work....I felt sooo unproductive today...oh well, guess it was all the partying i did on Saturday night...and I had sooo much fun! especially after not being out in about 2 weekends in a row!! Hey a young mother has GOT to party!! woooooooooopeeeeeeeeee! yeah, i'm crazy.....but i guess when i think about all the different things going on in my life...teenage daughter...2 year old son...all the issues....it gets soo stressful that i wanna forget..even if for a moment.

Two days After

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 05:59:03 GMT

well, it's Thursday and Alonzo did very well, thank God. It was a very hard time for me..the smell of the hospital, the doctors, the others waiting in the waiting area for their loved ones with somber looks on their faces...some crying, some holding flowers and baloons. On my walk into the appropriate building, a good friend of mine called me on my cell to send her best regards, so that made me feel good, especially since no one seemed to remember...or was just too busy to remember. Though i don't fault them, i just don't have time to be anyone's alarm clock and gather round' some kind of posse. I was trying to get my mind right for this day. There were risks involved and i needed to get all the strength i could from God and prayer. Alonzo and Maurissa are my children. I brought them into this earth and if i had to fight tooth and nail for them when no one else would or could, i would. I am proud to say that my little pumpkin is a brave trooper and is running around like nothing happened. Ofcoarse, there's still an official diagnosis, which i will know by next week. I'm just happy it's over with and they won't put my baby to sleep anytime soon...

The Day Before

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 04:07:03 GMT

today is the day before Alonzo has his test. Funny how no one in my family is there to comfort me or lend support. My sweetpea is dealing with a specialist at Cedar Sanai's for Inflamatory Bowel Disease...and he is only 2 and a half years old....so tomorrow they will test him and put him to sleep in order to do an EGD and Colonoscopy to see what's going on inside of him. No one wants to see their child in pain, let alone put to sleep. but I know he will be okay...it's just painful....the kind of pain that only a mother can feel. .I will rise above this as well and continue to be a strong person...but only through God has he given the power to overcome hardships. Even friends are too busy...not to say that i have many. It's a shame how this world goes 'round...so tommorrow, i will hug and kiss my little Alonzo and pray for him and ask God to give me strength as he always does. I know all of these things are only a test and it will make me stronger....I honestly have to say that i don't have anyone to lean my head on their shoulders...if only for a moment...if only for them to be a friend and tell me it will be okay..even though i know it will be..it just sounds good to hear it. Funny how everyone is so into their lives that they forget to be real friends or family.

The Scorpion...One to Reckon With

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 05:56:42 GMT

She is a deep thinker, an intense feeler and has a powerful inquiring mind. She is much stronger than her zodiac sisters...she was born with a natural power...

Through all of my trials and tribulations, I may stumble and cry, yet I do not fall and refuse to give in. In the most darkest moments of my life, i see and know hope and faith. I take my setbacks and turn them into stairs...stairs that lead me upwards....upwards, closer to my goals.

Funny how no matter what others may try to do to hold me back, i still rise....and they miss every time. Jealousy is an evil monster that overcomes many. We all have it, but do we know when to identify it and ask ourselves why it's there? If we become oblivious to that green-eyed monster, we continue to poison ourselves and other's around us. Other's jealousy has spurred me on and made me stronger. Why? because all the effort it takes to invest in such hateful feelings can always be turned into something lovely and positive...which is what i do....we should all try it.

Guest Book

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 04:39:54 GMT

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A Real Mami....

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 02:11:55 GMT

*********^^^^^^^^^>>>>>>>>*

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 01:46:12 GMT

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The Day After Christmas

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 00:17:59 GMT

Soo glad it's over with...although it was very enjoyable..I woke up @ 6 am in the morning for the kids to open gifts and from then, started to cook. So now, I'm resting today!! yahhh!!!! back to work tomorrow!!!..oh well....that's life, eh?

Shopping Frenzy!!!!

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 21:17:55 GMT

Went to the promenade with the kids and boy o' boy was it crowded as ever!! people were literally in car jams trying to get a vacant parking spot...xmas lights and such were on display and all the stores had really good sales! this is definitely the time to spend plenty of money!! I think most of all, family is the most important part of our holidays...spending time with them and sharing this season together with them is indeed special!!! Tis' the season to be jolly and have a wonderful happy new year!!!!!

>>>>>>>*************

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:45:51 GMT

My Weekends Lately

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:38:04 GMT

Had a pretty good weekend! last weekend was interesting also...if ya' know what i mean. Yeah...this is an online diary but it surely doesn't mean i'll spill the beans here! hahahhaah! It's a short work week for me, so that's a good thing! More time to rest and play!

Visit my Archives and Guest book

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 19:53:26 GMT

*Feel free to visit my archives*

Please sign my guestbook....I get plenty of "hits" (visits), but everyone's too lazy to sign....comeon' do your thang!! haha!

Bubble Pop Electric~Love, Angel, Music, Baby

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 19:23:43 GMT

i'm empty, i need fulfiling yes i do love,to the ceiling when i do love. i get this feeling when i'm in love. i'm restless, cant you see i try my bestest, to be a good girl because its just us. so take me now do me justice. i'm waiting impatiently, anticipating your arrival and i'm hating. it takes so long to get to my house to take me out. tonight i'm gonna give you all my love in the backseat~

in the backseat!!!! Okay now, i understand he's on his way now, but geez louise i mean TODAY now...i can't wait, i wanna play now.....i'm antsy ~

electric pansies...my sweet tooth, i want your candy, the queen of Eng would say it's randy...i'm itchy...i wish you would come and scratch me...tonight i'm falling won't you catch me... swoop on by so you can snatch me and take me out.....

Tonight i'm gonna give you all my love in da' backseat...

! in da' backseat!!!!!

*******

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 17:41:07 GMT

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Tue, 08 Nov 2005 06:17:51 GMT

Hug Me!

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:25:15 GMT

sometimes...we all need a warm hug to make us feel better! So come on! share your hugs and keep it going. When i receive a hug, i will hug you back!!

2 special hugs from my friend Angelina! thanx Angelina!

A Nice Poem

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:21:33 GMT

As I sit here in the evening
with nothing left to do,
my mind begins wandering
to special thoughts of you.

The way you make me smile
brings laughter to my heart,
and then i find myself
praying we shall never part.

For if I ever lost you,
I don't know what I'd do,
because since the day we met,
my life revolves around you.

You bring me laughter, joy
and more love than I have ever known
and since the day I met you,
I am amazed at how I've grown.

So, when you're feeling lonely
with nothing much to do,
just sit back relax, close your eye's
and remember, I love you.

If there's a God in heaven
I ask of him this day,
please let me stand by your side,
that's were I want to stay.

A sad day

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 14:40:18 GMT

tuesday morning..and feeling blue....my birthday is coming soon and i am not sure what i will plan for that day. Last year's didn't turn out good at all. I made huge plans and it all went "spooof" at the last minute...so it was tramatizing...even friends i thought I had were not friends at all, now another year has come and i still feel the same somewhat. Last year i did everything for myself, right down to my sexy outfit...baloons, the works. But now I feel different. I don't think want to do anything this year. It's just a blue-feeling i have...well, off to work.

Happy Holloween

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 00:05:58 GMT