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April 01

Sugar Drop....

Can't stop thinking, can't stop breathingm can't stop my heart from beating; can't stop sleeping; can't stop my every waking moment....I smell your scent, I can see your face and imagine your lips against mine. My heart won't stop...it beats to an unknown sound that is unfamiliar....I wish you were near...I miss u so very much..
August 04

To My Baby....I Could Have Loved You

 If you were here.......
I wish you were here...for me to hold, touch, love....
The distance that spans between us is too great and too far....
But my heart....It beats endlessly to your rythym...
The song to which my spirit dances to in my sleep...
I  think I can feel you near me...I  feel your spirit ever so present besides me....
I smell you....
Yet you are so far.....
What is the worst torment?
To be near and Love....or
Be far...
and Love? which is greater?
All my life I've searched for one-of-a-kind....
I think I am still searching...for now it is you that my heart beats wildly for...
The  beat which  my spirit dances to is your sound...even though soo far.
What is better?
a Spirit that is alive with song and love....
or a Spirit..dead with no life and pulse?
I'd rather have it alive.....
If only you weren't so far....

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July 25

THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE


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What's the true meaning of Love? for me, LOVE IS-
LOVING even when you don't like something about a person....
LOVING even when there are imperfections that cannot be changed...
LOVING....when it's storming and everything and everyone is blown in all directions....but staying steadfast in one place...never moved and unwavering.
LOVING is stability.
LOVING is just listening.
LOVING is appreciation.
LOVING is accepting.
LOVING is gentle .
LOVING is caring.
LOVING is  feeling....
LOVING is being intuned...
loving is.....sooo many things....too many to mention....
WHAT IS YOUR MEANING OF LOVE?
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July 24

How Did I manage?

Well, I guess I have two spaces now...the other one is lovelyblack69....it was an accident, but I will just post to both of them simultaneously...didn't do anything too special today....it was really hot outside..about 100 degrees, so you know what that called for! icecream!!
November 25

Soo Much has changed

 Wow...where do i start. I definitely haven't had time to manage my blogs or update my photos, but it will be soon. Myself and the kids have moved to the Valley and it's a huge change, but a good one. Alonzo is doing very well with respect to his Crohn's disease and Maurissa has started a new high school!  I really haven't made any new friends there-at least not yet ;-( and I don't know where all the "cool" spots are...but in due time! It's been an adjustment for us, but it's been going quite smoothly.  AH! right now, my pc is broke so i'm using someone else's pc to log on, so that's part of the reason i haven't been on ;-( so i'll be purchasing a hard drive soon.  Anyways, this blog is boring, yeah i know, but atleast I put SOMETHING!  until next time...promise i will post new pics, etc !!!
September 16

Haven't Been Here in a While

Well, I've been soo busy lately that I have not had the opportunity to update my page! Within the next day or so, I'll add lots of new pics and all that good stuff!!!
June 06

Knott's Berry Farm

went to Knott's with the kids and they had a ball! unfortunately, i didn't get many pics of Maurissa nor myself because Maurissa brought along her school mate and they went on the larger rides, while myself and Alonzo were on the age-appropriate rides for him. Nonetheless, it was a hot, beautiful day. I enjoyed the drive there, which was actually only less than an hour and yummy!!! the funnel cakes are da bomb!!!! In a few weeks, Alonzo's sister, Alexus, will be here from Oregon and we have plenty of time to do other fun things!
May 29

The Love of Friends

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From the beginning, when we were kids, we learned to form friendships. We never really knew about loyalty and trustworthiness. As we mature, we learn, through our own experiences, to be a true FRIEND. Some, I might add, never really learn how to recognize their true friends. I've had horrible experiences wherein my loyalty was doubted and my friendship taken for granted...

MySpace Layouts   I believe that being a true friend means honesty and being there for that person no matter what, even if they are going through hard times. I am now 32 and in my years, I have had 2 persons whom i considered friends, turn their backs on me. Don't get me wrong, my life DOES go on, cause' I'm strong-that's a given. But the hurt that accompanies being let down by someone is immense and hurtful. We can all have our relationships and be in love, but our friends are the ones who will listen and go that extra mile, just when u think all of your resources are gone. I guess my nature is fiercely loyal and there are soo many who just can't seem to be that way. What do we do when we no longer have trust? What do we do when we no longer let anyone get inside their world on a personal level? It can be for love relationships or just platonic relationships...What we do is KEEP our heads up and continue to move on, push forward and know that it was an HONOR for them...for persons such as I, to have been friends. Our kind, leaves a touch of glitter

 

MySpace Layouts         on their hearts....words can't explain the deep anger, or shall i say, unrest...yah that's a better word, that it causes deep inside  when you feel you have been judged wrongly, or simply taken advantage of. If any of those two persons ever come upon this blog, you know who u are, and I must say, It's amazing how some people take advantage of certain situations and use it to their own advantage and totally be dis-loyal...but to me, I had nothing to gain..but I had something to lose..and that was a friend. So either way, would it have mattered? had I made a different choice back then, would you turn your back on me anyway? I think so. But who wins? I win. I win, because through it all, I was the truthful one and the one who refused to betray you. Tell me, where, in this lifetime will you find that?

 

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May 24

Haven't been here in a While

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us  Haven't been around for some time...but Im still here! Just basically working, working out, taking care of the kids and ofcoarse having a little fun! Not much going on other than that...and not anything exciting happening in my life...oh well....but i guarantee i'll make my own excitement! heheh!  i really wanted to go to the Madonna concert...i just waited until the last minute
April 19

Lisa's Farewell

So long to my very good friend Lisa! Lisa is going to Japan for one year for business, but she'll be back!! We partied a few weeks ago and I had a ball!! I WILL MISS YOU LISA!!!!
 
 
 
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Boring Saturday Nite

Well, it's one of those saturdays when all your plans fall through...things cancelled cause' of the forecasted rain, which never happened! but anyways sometimes it's good to stay in the house and do absolutely nothing...well, not entirely, but it's still cool
February 03

A So So Kinda Day

BUT  atleast it's friday!
February 02

Had I known...Written 8/23/2004

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Had I this would be Had I known I would feel Had I know I would cry Had I known I would die Had I known I would live again Had I known I would see the Sun Shine... If only that party of You knew how much my sould has wept.... Only to keep my pain so silent and soft... Could you hear it? Can you hear my souls cry? Out and over the ocean it wept The cold wind blowing its howling Sound into the dark deep waters... I have been crushed a million of times... I have even died billions of times Unbelievable how many times I could do this How many times can I feel this way...yet Keep going on. Such anguish inside Who said I wanted it to be so gray Who determined my heart's desires? Haven't you seen me? I know you see my spirit float across the mist. Felt my breath against you ear... Had I known I would suffer in such emotional pain to have the greatest gift of all in my life Would I have died a billions times? Had I known.. Yes

January 29

MSN changed something!!

okay everyone...it seems that msn has changed some features on our pages...i've had the hardest time signing in and accessiing my space!! now i'm finally in!! anyone else out there experiencing the same problems??
January 26

hump day

 

Well, it's hump day...two more days to go till the weekend...i soo feel like doing something xtra fun this weekend...i do have a bunch of plans..but i feel like there should be more....hummmm...

January 23

Butterflies....U know...that fluttery feeling?

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These butterflies....they are everywhere.

I wish i could calm them

instead they are calming me.

calming me into feeling so excited when i see u...

I have to admit.

It feels good. So good that i want it to last forever.

Just like waking up at 1 in the morning...

Only to hear that it's raining outside-

and You....you are besides me.

Where was i again? Oh...yeah....the butterflies....

they are fluttering around like a million particles...

It's raining outside....

butterflies.....please

don't go away.

 

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